Church was pretty good. I definitely like early service better. A lot more of the people from town that I know go to that service. One of the quilter ladies had picked me up for church and so I sat in the 'quilter row' which happened to be right behind E, G, and S. E acknowledged me and G of course was smiling at me. She's hard to resist being all cute and almost 2. On one hand it was good to see E and on another it was ....well when Pastor Terry had us pray and lift up what was on our hearts I asked for things to be better...and that He would help E and I try to be friends...we had started to last fall then it just went weird...
I'm still happy I went. It was a good service and the sermon was about deep cleansing. I came home and finished the laundry, emptied the dishwasher, reloaded the dishwasher, changed, had lunch, took out all the books and magazines that I want to get rid of from the bedroom bookshelf so that C has room for his books and things. I started in organizing the garage and decided to bring in some shelves to do some more organizing of the crafty/sewing area in our closet. I also brought in the futon. Fixed the vacuum and will be vacuuming the whole house this evening. Got the table cloth changed too. There's an amazing amount of stuff that needs to be done around here lol. I just want the house to look better, feel better, be a more positive environment, and for C to feel like this is his home too...that he has room to put his stuff out. I should have done some of this stuff 6 months ago but thinking back to 6 months ago, I was lucky to get everything moved from my house to our house, set up, and HEAL from my surgery. Somehow there just hasn't been any time until now.
Sucks that the person you love feels like they need to break up with you in order to get your attention that you need to change. Today's dare really made me realize that I had not been the kind of woman I thought I was last fall to winter. I was angry in a lot of ways and really had been taking things out on him without even knowing that I was.
Day 9-Love Makes Good Impressions
"Greet one another with a kiss of love." 1 Peter 5:14
Today's Dare: Think of a specific way you'd like to greet your partner today. Do it with a smile and with enthusiasm. Then determine to change your greeting to reflect your love for them.
"Think about your greeting. Do you use it well? Does your partner feel valued and appreciated? Do they feel loved? Even when you're not getting along too well, you can lessen the tension and give them value by the way you greet them. Remember, love is a choice. So choose to change your greeting. Choose to love."
I read this and it hit home. It's so easy to get caught up in whatever happened that day or what hasn't been resolved and take your stress out on those closest to you. Before you know it you've got a lot of little things that add up to becoming a big thing...a lot of hurt feelings that over time lead to resentment and it gets hard to get past that. So that saying 'think before you speak/act' is really true. All of us are guilty of taking things out on our loved ones. Choose to change...choose to love.
C wants me to get better. To not take my anger/aggression out on him or others. I want to get better too. Getting better isn't just about healing though. That's what I thought at first. It's really about deep cleansing of your soul..your whole body because it's a deeper healing...a changing of behavior...of letting go of the old hurts that have happened to you and to not continue to take them with you in hurting yourself & others. That's why I have chosen the path that I have to be going to counseling & getting involved in church activities. So far it's working. Hard work but it's working. Learning to love unconditionally is not a sprint but a marathon...a race worth running.
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