Willingness

Today had an interesting start to it at 620 am but steadily got better since 7 when I got back from my walk/run routine. I got my car back for one :-D! So happy to have my wheels again. I'm very grateful to both C and also to Mel along with the folks from the church for taking me where I needed to go this past week or so. I would definitely recommend this mechanic too. Bible study this morning went really well too. Different group then my Monday night one but I think maybe I will try to go to both now. Had lunch with one of the ladies from the church quilt group this afternoon. She is a really good cook & hostess. Taking care of doggies over the next few days. Pretty decent day overall. Feeling calmer than last night. It was sunny this afternoon and nice sunset. Chilly out though. It just really felt like God was with me ever since I prayed with Jean this afternoon and it was a really nice feeling.
Seems like late last week C has just been really mad at me. It's like we have switched roles lately. I think a lot of that is because even though we both are grieving I have been willing to work on things between us and also on myself. I'm not so sure he is as willing or ready to do the same. I keep praying for God to guide and work in me and also in him...to change his heart to be more open and willing. Just trying to be patient while I wait. The trick with praying for patience is that you get more trials.
Day 12-Love Lets the Other Win
"Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others." Philippians 2:4
Today's Dare: 'Demonstrate love by willingly choosing to give in to an area of disagreement between you and your spouse. Tell them you are putting their preference first.'
What issue did you choose? What did giving in cost you? How will this help you in the future? I chose to hold my tongue when after asking me about when were we going to have to leave to go pick up my car and I answered with 'the guy who fixed it lives here and is picking me up on the way into work so I wont need a ride' and his response was 'well I didn't want to give you a ride anyway!' and then he asked where I was going and I said out for my walk/run and he said he was going to make breakfast. I started to take stuff out of the frig when he said it was fine he would do it ..make breakfast...that I could go do my thing. I asked him if he would make me breakfast while I was gone and he said yes. I left and when I got back he wasn't there and my breakfast was on the counter cold :-(. By giving in and not responding it cost me the chance of spending time with him other than that one moment this morning. I also chose to not respond later today when he sent me a text that said 'tisk tisk you're not at dads doing your job'. Instead I sent him a message that said 'heya how was your day?'. Him being confrontational, rude, mean, are not behaviors that I want to nor need to respond to. He wouldn't hear me right now anyway because he is busy being angry in the grieving process. He's not willing to see the small changes in me nor is he willing to work on things yet with me. By leaning on God and trusting him to fix things by changing how I react to things or lack there of ...changing and working within me then I am changing how I respond to more and more situations like this morning & afternoon. Eventually C will not be angry and ....hopefully there is a willing desire to want to work on our friendship and eventually date again.